Defeat of a Warrior
by keikoutou
Summary: Strength. Used to defend oneself, protect others, examples of Son Goku. But along with strength comes the power to kill. Power that can eat away at ones mind and conscience, fed by an imbalance between light and darkness. Another example of Son Goku....
1. It Begins

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue. Not that you'd get much anyway, since I don't even have a job.  
  
A/N: well, I've gotten the craving to do a Goku angst. I hope I still kept him in character, though.  
  
Chapter One: ~*It Begins*~  
  
"Vegeta, come eat lunch already!" An exasperated Bulma rapped out irritably at the door of the gravity room.  
  
"Leave me alone, onna! What have I told you about interrupting my training?! I *must* get stronger than Kakarot!" An equally irritated response came back, sounding slightly muffled coming from inside the room.  
  
Bulma sighed, shaking her head at her husband's constant tirades of defeating Goku once and for all. Giving up, seeing how it was pointless to try and get the Saiyan to eat at the moment, the blue-haired scientist made her way back to the kitchen to preserve the meal laid out for the prince. While wrapping the steaming chicken (that had a suspicious green tinge to the edge) in plastic wrapping, Bulma mused on what had transpired the night before. Goku had turned up on her doorstep, quite ruffled up as if training. Now usually, this was rather normal, as Goku would sometimes come to spar with Vegeta even if he had already trained for the day. Only this time, it was different.  
  
For one thing, Goku hadn't said a single word to Bulma. No greeting, none of the cheerful grins, no jovial chuckles. Only a blank stare that Bulma had rarely seen on the usually cheerful face. Almost as if he hadn't even seen her. The young Saiyan had merely brushed by his genius friend and made his way straight to Vegeta.  
  
For another thing, she had later found out from Vegeta (more specifically, weeded it out of him with persistent interrogations) that during their spar, Goku had finished it quickly. Normally, he would allow the fight to drag out to merely savor the joy of fighting even if he could finish it quickly. But, as Vegeta grudgingly admitted, this time Goku had immediately jumped straight to Super Saiyan 3 and pounded the prince, ending the fight in a meager five minutes. Perhaps that was why Vegeta seemed more stubborn today in what Bulma considered was training till he dropped dead.  
  
Back in the Gravity room, Vegeta was pondering the same thing, although in a less calm manner.  
  
'Damn that Kakarot!' The prince seethed as he effortlessly punched the air in 300 times normal gravity. 'How dare he rub in my temporary inferiority! Since when has he ever done that?! He is a third class! I am the prince!! I shall see him bow before me once I have beaten him into the ground!' Vegeta vowed for perhaps the millionth time. But through his anger-filled mind, a small part was curious. Exactly why had Kakarot been so eager to end the fight? And where had that idiotic grin gone to when the prince greeted him (with his usual 'hn' of course)?  
  
"No matter." Vegeta muttered, performing a series of rapid kicks at a difficult angle. "I shall find out today."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Mom, I'm gonna be at Trunks' house!" Son Goten yelled at the top of his lungs, as he was unsure where his mother was in the house. Or whether she was in the house or not, which she wasn't, but Goten apparently didn't know that. "Be back in a few hours!" Racing across the room, Goten paused for a moment to stare at the back of his father's head which apparently seemed fixated out the window. Even after a few years, the young Son was still a teensy bit uncomfortable around his father. After all, he hadn't known him for his entire life like Gohan had, and the full Saiyan wasn't home much. But that didn't mean he didn't want to be friends!  
  
So it was with the barest hint of timidity that Goten spoke to his father, who seemed to be in a daze. "Bye, dad! See you later!"  
  
Goku snapped out of his reverie and gave his son a bright smile. " 'Kay, see ya!"  
  
The minute the teenage boy was out the door, the dazzling grin on the Saiyan's face immediately vanished to be replace with the blank look it held before. His once expressive eyes seemed to have built an impenetrable wall, for the deep ebony was void of the usual presence of swirling emotions.  
  
And it was in this position and state Vegeta found him in.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"He's late, the baka! Has his brain finally exploded, he knows not to keep me waiting!" Vegeta growled.  
  
"So what're you whining to me for?" Bulma's voice responded in annoyance. "Why don't *you* go to *him* if you're so impatient, and maybe even give me a bit of peace!"  
  
"Hmph, fine! I will, worthless onna!" Vegeta stormed out in his usual temper, cursing lightly about damn ningen women and their impossibility. With his superior speed in flying, it was within minutes that he spotted the familiar humble surroundings of his rival's home. Without even bothering to knock, Vegeta barged through the small door, announcing his presence rather loudly.  
  
"Kakarot, get your lazy ass up!" Vegeta demanded once he spotted the younger Saiyan. When he received no response, Vegeta smirked. "What, given up on fighting? Are you truly the human you claim to be, the peace-loving fool of a warrior? Or is it because you have finally realized your position as the low, third-class and you will never defeat me?" 'Despite the fact that he did yesterday.' Vegeta mentally added angrily. But that wasn't the point; the point was to goad Kakarot into action.  
  
However, it didn't seem to work, for Goku continued to stare out the window, not moving an inch. Annoyed, the prince walked over and pretended to stare out the window along with him.  
  
"Hmm, I do believe you can go for better tastes, Kakarot." Vegeta drawled. "Although staring at trees all day may be the challenge needed for your brain capacity, I do believe you have other things to attend to."  
  
Still no response!  
  
Perhaps he was meditating?  
  
Vegeta opened his mouth to express his displeasure of being ignored, when he got a clear view of his rival's expression. Or rather, his lack of expression.  
  
'Interesting. First time I've seen Kakarot without either that moronic grin of his or that silly smirk he wears during a battle.'  
  
Deciding he had had enough of the other's silence, Vegeta resorted to his favorite, and in his opinion, best way of gaining attention.  
  
"Yow!" The cry of surprised pain rang out from the previously immobile Saiyan, after Vegeta had discharged a small ki blast straight into his face. Frantically rubbing his steaming face, Goku turned to his attacker in confusion.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
"Well, apparently, your attention needed the extra boost as it seemed to be glued to the trees out there." Came the prince's reply.  
  
"Oh. . .yeah." And to Vegeta's utter disbelief, Goku resumed his blank stare.  
  
"KAKAROT! YOU *IDIOT!*"  
  
Goku jumped up, startled. And once again, confusion clouded his face. "*What*?"  
  
"I didn't come all the way out here just to give you a faceful of ki, and then just leave! Why did you not come for our daily spar?" Vegeta huffed angrily, crossing his arms in his trademark position.  
  
"Oh, well. . ."  
  
"And I demand an explanation for yesterday."  
  
That seemed to get his attention. Immediately, Goku's once blank eyes seemed to darken with a raging storm, his mouth setting in a tight, grim line. Thick eyebrows shot down faster than the speed of light in a deep frown, the expression rivaling the prince's most intense scowls. Vegeta swore the room temperature seemed to drop several degrees.  
  
Then, just as suddenly it appeared, the icy glare disappeared. When the young Saiyan spoke, nothing in his annoyingly cheerful voice indicated any sign of the previous atmosphere.  
  
"Watcha talkin' 'bout, Geta?" (Vegeta scowled at the nickname) "If this is about me beating you again-"  
  
"No, it's not about you defeating me again!" Vegeta roared, slightly pissed at the mere mention of another countless defeat. "Cease your pretense, Kakarot. What the hell is your problem?!"  
  
Again, that iciness. But only in the eyes this time. The Saiyan prince found it slightly unnerving to be staring at one with an expression that was completely happy, carefree, but with eyes of steel. 'That does not match the baka's face.' Vegeta thought to himself.  
  
"Aw, Vegeta, quit kidding with me, I dunno what you're talking about. You know, I'm getting hungry. I'll come back to spar after a hunt, 'kay? Be back!" Then, quicker than the blink of an eye, Goku was gone, blasting off into the forest.  
  
Vegeta quickly followed, fully intending to get his answers- and his spar- without delay, but abruptly stopped when Goku's ki signal seemed to wink out of existence.  
  
'What the hell?! Why does that fool need to suppress his ki on a hunt?!? Now I know he's hiding something. And I'm going to find out.'  
  
~~~~A few miles away, deep in the woods~~~  
  
Only the back of a crouching figure could be seen by the meager light offered by the entrance of the cave he was in, the object clutched in his hand invisible in the darkness. Son Goku's closed eyes opened, still containing that steely air.  
  
A soft murmur barely echoed about the tiny cave, the sound extinguishing before reaching the outside life.  
  
"No one will understand."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Errr..did that sound stupid or what? But don't worry, it'll sound better as the plot thickens. 


	2. Worry

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
"GOKUUUUU!!!" Birds cheeped in surprise as they frantically flapped away from the tremendous screech. Son Chichi fumed, banging pots and pans in a fit of anger.  
  
"That Goku! Always running off, never telling where he went, and then to come back home all filthy, still smiling like nothing is wrong! I swear by Kami, that man drives me nuts! Why can't he- ACK!!" Chichi exclaimed in the midst of her tirade as she spotted her husband trudging through their family room.  
  
Goku was indeed as Chichi predicted in a dirty mess, gi dripping with mud water, face and arms scratched up, clothes ripped nearly beyond repair. What the black haired woman would have noticed had she not been so surprised and angry was the blood soaked into his wristbands.  
  
"Goku! Get off that carpet, I just bought it yesterday! Nonono, don't put your clothes there, it'll ruin the couch! NO, GET OFF THAT RIGHT NOW AND TAKE A SHOWER FIRST!"  
  
Without a word, the world's strongest warrior slowly floated up the stairs, his wife yelling at his retreating back. "And when you're back, you can explain to me where you've been!"  
  
Not given a response, Chichi huffed and resumed cooking. Despite all her yelling and scolding, she was beginning to worry for her husband. He rarely talked to her anymore, and began to act more and more sullen than she felt was comfortable. He disappeared more often with the excuse of a spar with Vegeta, but from what Bulma said, he would only spar for a few hours. Not the whole day, as was his absence. What concerned her most, however, was his odd need to hide this behavior from everyone else. At first he hid it from her, but living in the same house together kind of allowed her to catch on rather quickly.  
  
'He'll get over it.' Chichi said to herself. It sounded as believable as saying Vegeta would willingly wear a pink tutu.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Vegeta, what the hell is your problem!?" Bulma cried out in exasperation, chucking her still wet toothbrush straight at him. The blue haired scientist suppressed a giggle as the toiletrie (is that a word?) landed in her husband's mass of hair, stuck there by the thick gravity-defying strands.  
  
"Laugh at me will you?" Came the expected growl.  
  
"Well, you can explain to me why exactly you blew up on our son like that, when all he wanted was to ask you a question. Not to mention yelling at Goten too, when he did nothing at all."  
  
"The brats were interrupting my training!" Vegeta answered indignantly.  
  
"Vegeta, you weren't training in there! I saw you, you were just staring at the wall like some half-wit baka."  
  
Vegeta glared, feeling put off that one of his own insults was being thrown back at him.  
  
"Okay, so I was meditating, so what?"  
  
"I know you wouldn't meditate in that position."  
  
"Okay, FINE! I was thinking, is that a crime?!"  
  
Bulma crossed her arms, frowning. "No, but you still didn't answer my question. Mind telling me what was so important you nearly blasted Trunks and Goten 'into the next universe'? And in the house, might I add?"  
  
"Alright, alright. I was thinking about Kakarot."  
  
Bulma raised an eyebrow, sitting next to Vegeta on the family couch.  
  
"How to defeat him again?"  
  
"That too. But more of his strange behavior. Surely your miniscule brain has noticed that, woman."  
  
Bulma scowled. "Excuse me, but this 'miniscule brain' happens to be the best on the planet!" Refusing to continue the banter, she decided to let that comment slide after that small retort. "So is that all?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Well, I've noticed it too." Bulma fiddled with her worn bathrobe, sky blue eyes gleaming in thought. "He's. . .well, not as *happy*. Maybe this little period of depression would be normal for the average person, but Goku isn't really average personality wise. Neither are you, but that's besides the point."  
  
Ignoring the possibly insulting comment about his character, Vegeta probed his wife to continue. "So?"  
  
"Why do you care?" Bulma suddenly turned to her Saiyan companion, an expression of suspicion replacing the thoughtful look.  
  
Taken aback by the sudden inquiry, Vegeta leaned back and shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Curiosity." 'Or maybe something more. . .'  
  
While Vegeta tried to fathom exactly why he thought that, Bulma nodded in understanding, assuming this sudden interest in his rival was just one of Vegeta's odd tactics to find a weakness in her best friend.  
  
"Well, whatever your reasons are, I'm worried. I want you to find out what's wrong with him."  
  
"What?" Was the woman insane? "Why me? What if this depression of his *is* normal? This is *Kakarot* we're talking about! And you expect me to try and comfort that low class baka when all he might need is time? I'll look like a fool!"  
  
Bulma glowered and crossed her arms in a no-nonsense manner. "Why don't *you* talk instead of that ego of yours. Besides, Vegeta, this isn't just on a whim. I have a feeling this isn't something we should let slide."  
  
"And tell me why I should care." Vegeta muttered.  
  
"I'm serious! When Goku visited us yesterday to spar with you, I noticed something I hadn't seen since he was just a boy."  
  
Curiosity peaked even more, Vegeta kept silent and allowed his wife to continue.  
  
"You know as well as I do how happy Goku is. He's just that way naturally, always viewing life with optimism. So even if he's angry or sad, you can tell that it's just a one time thing. But yesterday was different."  
  
"Different?"  
  
Bulma nodded gravely. "Yes, different. Maybe you wouldn't be able to tell, not knowing Goku for most of his life since he was fourteen. But when I saw his face, I knew something was wrong. For one thing, he didn't say a word to me. If this were just his ontime bout of sadness or anger, he would still be polite and at least give me a 'hi' or a wave. But what really mattered was his face. It was too close to what you usually are, Vegeta."  
  
"And what am I?" 'This better not be an insult, with all the attention I'm giving her.' Vegeta thought wrathfully.  
  
"He looked indifferent. Almost uncaring, even. I-I couldn't tell for sure what he was feeling at the moment. At all, no idea. Goku is a very expressive individual, Vegeta. You of all people must know that. So even if he were depressed, I should have seen it on his face. But I didn't. Good Kami, I didn't! It scared me, Vegeta because I'd only seen him this way once before. And the results weren't good at all. Dangerous, even."  
  
Now Vegeta was hooked. He long ago had shed his look of apathy and was leaning forward in anxiety to hear this new bit of information about his rival.  
  
"I didn't know all about Goku like I do now, but I knew him well enough to tell if something was seriously wrong. It happened at a small tournament, the one with Master Roshi's sister fortuneteller Baba to find a dragonball."  
  
"So why did you first see Kakarot this way?"  
  
Bulma closed her eyes, relieving an unpleasant memory long forgotten.  
  
"Because his dead grandfather had come back to life."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Cliffy, ne? Sorta. Review, please! 


End file.
